


you're the only one i want by my side

by liesmith



Category: NoPixel, no pixel
Genre: M/M, also mega raven bashing..... i guess i should warn for that LOL, au where bobby is aphrodite and can feel people fall in love around him, soft boys doing what soft boys do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23569414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesmith/pseuds/liesmith
Summary: he's been alone for so long, bitter and depressedorwasn't this his only choice? there's more?
Relationships: AJ Hunter/Bobby Smith, Detective Lt. Vladimir Raven/Bobby Smith (NoPixel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	you're the only one i want by my side

Bobby is ten when the soft, euphoric feeling of divine joy fills him. He’s playing with Matilda in their backyard and peeks at his twin, sees her staring across the street at their neighbor’s daughter. She looks happy, and when their eyes meet, Bobby has to lay down in the soft grass to stop his head from spinning.

He learns, very quickly, that love is for everyone else and not him. The way his head spins every time he feels it, the scents that accompany it, the pulsing auras that radiate off of everyone. No matter how hard he tries, it was and will never be made for him; nobody looks at him like that, pure unfiltered deep love, and only chase him because they instinctively feel what he is, and that being around him makes them feel good. So Bobby does what Bobby does best; he runs, moving out of Texas. He’s just an idiot, going to Los Santos like this, wanting to be a cop in some big stupid ass city, chase away his inadequacy, pretend that his past wasn’t haunting him. and the unique, unending feeling of people in love around him. He fucking hates it.

Maybe, in the end, Bobby is just bitter because he can’t find who _is_ supposed to love him. Maybe he’s the only one left of their kind; maybe he should’ve died that day with Matilda and he could have avoided all of this heartache. But, Bobby guesses, this is as good a punishment as any. Deserves being alone. Deserves being lost. Should’ve protected her better.

He’s zoned out, standing in a meeting, several months after being hired as a sheriff for Blaine’s County. Bobby’s arms are settled on his belt, eyes downcast as he listens to Andrews drone on about SOPs, this and fucking that, everything that Bobby doesn’t care about. And then it fucking hits him like a ton of bricks.

The heavy leather scent mixed with whiskey hits him like a cannonball and Bobby fights to stay steady, wondering who the _fuck_ is really falling in love at fucking _work_ , and then he realizes it as Raven stares at him from across the lobby, arms crossed over his chest and eyes trained on Bobby. The blond clears his throat quietly, looking away as he shifts his weight from foot to foot, wondering how the fuck is he supposed to process and move forward with this information. Not like it does him any fucking good if someone else is in love with him; Bobby’s not sure what love is anymore. Hard to tell what is true, genuine feelings, and mindless infatuation because it’s just what Bobby is. Everyone gets a degree of _in love_ with him. Raven’s is just… mind numbing.

Then that poses the question of what the fuck is he supposed to do with this information? Pretend Raven doesn’t exist and pretend that Bobby can keep working here, alongside him, when he can’t even focus on anything but the feeling, too intense that make him nauseous every time he’s around and Bobby just wants it to stop because it’s making him shake, making him cry when he’s alone, running on pure fear and adrenaline. But… but, he’s so sure that this is it, his only chance at real love, because who else would want someone like him? Broken and stupid and too etheral to really exist in this world and Bobby thinks, this is his way out. He lets Raven into his bed, but not into his heart, he can’t, it’s too painful, because he doesn’t feel the same, and maybe that’s why he shakes, and vomits, and pretends everything is okay when Raven smiles at him. Raven makes him happy, sure, but that’s all it is in the end; fleeting and unforgiving, and he realizes it too quickly, but he still lets himself be coaxed into a wedding with hard hands and claiming kisses. Bobby’s been good at putting on a front; he has for years now, since Matilda died, and this is no different. He wakes, he pretends it’s right, and he kisses his husband and he goes to work.

Bobby learns very quickly that he hates his husband.

Several months after their marriage, Bobby sits in their ugly, overpriced mansion that he hates, watching the minutes tick by. Raven should have been home hours ago; the phone in his hand displays a text that reads ‘Leaving on business. Will call you later. Love you.’

And Bobby thinks to himself, how funny, leaving on business with the secretary that Bobby felt Raven fall in love with, the same way Raven looked at him like that those months ago, and he has to excuse himself from the office meeting to go hide in a bathroom, hidden in a stall and trying not to have a full on break-down. And really, it’s Bobby’s fault, isn’t it? It’s not like Raven _knows_ he can feel these things; Bobby’s ethereal status is his own and that’s that. Letting someone else in on it would just be a disaster waiting to happen. Plus, why would he let a man like Raven know about him in any way that isn’t human and mortal and miserable? Just because he can feel things doesn’t mean that Bobby deserves to be anything _but_ human and mortal and miserable.

At least, when he wakes in the morning the next day, he doesn’t feel like dying. Being away from Raven clears his head, makes him feel less foggy, the veil lifted up off of him. He actually wants to go to work, which is a change of pace these past months. Bobby stands in front of the bedroom mirror, adjusting his vest here and there before pulling on his gloves, giving himself a small nod as he sets his cowboy hat just right on his head. He can do this; he can get through the day, and the next, and the next.

He was such a fool, marrying Raven. What the fuck was he thinking?

Bobby sits in Raven’s office, enjoying the luxury for now of being able to use it while he’s gone, fucking that catty secretary somewhere nice and beautiful and Bobby has to hold down the department like it’s nothing. He sinks into the seat, tipping his hat a little over his face, and crosses his arms over his chest. He could nap for a bit; Bobby deserves it, after all. He doesn’t remember falling asleep but he awakens to the soft smell of burning wood and gunpowder and the sweetness of tea under it all. Bobby’s heart sinks suddenly; how is this happening again?

“Bobby?”

Suddenly, it isn’t so bad. AJ’s soft voice sounds like heaven to him and Bobby quietly lifts his hat, looking at AJ over his glasses and smiling. AJ returns it, arms on his hips, and Bobby just stares, the golden aura pulsing around AJ, the soft waves of desire rolling off of him. Bobby is quiet as he sits up in the chair, dumbstruck as it hits him; intermingled with AJ’s scent is something new, sandalwood and lavender, soft and sweet, and Bobby’s head spins.

That’s _him_ beneath it all.

“Bobby, you good?”

Bobby clears his throat, red creeping over his cheeks to his ears. “Y-Yes, ‘course, AJ. What do you need?”

“You wanna go have lunch?” AJ rocks back on the balls of his feet, clearly fidgeting and nervous in asking, “I figured, we’re both here, the place is kinda qui-”

“Yes. Yes, of course, AJ,” Bobby gets to his feet, placing his hat back on his head and walking over to AJ, trying to not give into this feeling, giddiness settled heavy in his chest, “I’ll get whatever you want.”

AJ grins and reaches up, pushing Bobby’s sunglasses back up his nose. “I was thinking… something southern, maybe.”

“Are you hittin’ on your superior?”

“I’m joking,” AJ’s voice is soft as he laughs, hands crossing over his chest, “I’m joking, Bobby, I-”

Bobby lifts up on his toes, hands cupping AJ’s face as he kisses him, sudden and swift and uncaring if anyone sees. Fuck Raven, anyways. That bastards getting served divorce papers as soon as he comes crawling back fucking home. AJ tenses before he melts, shoulders sagging as he kisses Bobby back, his own hands grabbing Bobby’s face a little more aggressive than Bobby is his, but the blond wouldn’t change it.

They break and Bobby stares into golden flecked eyes and laughs, head spinning.

“You… are very good at hidin’, Ares.”

“You less so,” AJ laughs, hands dropping to Bobby’s waist, touching their foreheads together, “I could find you halfway across the globe, you’re so stupid obvious.”

Bobby just laughs again, pressing his nose into AJ’s cheek and nuzzling softly, careful of his stripes. “... I missed you.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” AJ murmurs, “I should’ve saved you from Raven sooner. He’s kind of scary, man. Those brass knuckles hurt.”

“You’re so stupid,” Bobby wraps his arms around AJ’s neck, finally settling back down onto his feet, “you’re so stupid, and beautiful, and…”

“Amazing, perfect, trooper material?”

“Suck up,” Bobby closes his eyes, smiling into the kiss AJ gives him, a hand sliding into the back, soft fluff of his hair, “... you owe me so many lunches, AJ Hunter.”

“Hey! C’mon,” AJ laughs, stepping back just to look down at Bobby fully, a hand quietly seeking out one of his, pulling it from his neck and kissing it softly, eyes lid, “I’m starting now, right?”

“... Yeah,” Bobby agrees softly, “and then every day after.”

“Every day after,” AJ agrees, smiling against Bobby’s knuckles.

Things might not be so bad, Bobby thinks, letting AJ lead him out of MRPD, holding his hand so tightly that it hurts, but it’s all Bobby wants, now and forever, settled into the passenger side of AJ’s car, watching him fumble to start the car up with one hand, refusing to let go of Bobby’s.

His eyes close, and Bobby just gives AJ’s hand a soft squeeze. A little late, but now was better than never.

**Author's Note:**

> i stole this idea from a buddy.... they were very kind to let me vulture it and ruin it completely
> 
> normansbones @ twitter


End file.
